Push Away From the Table
Did I get your attention with the title!? Nooooo I’m not calling you FAT, sit down and let me tell you a little story.
So, morale was at an all time low, as it tends to get sometimes. We had just hired on a new Fire Chief, and you know how that can go one way or the other. Some can get excited and get full on “brown nose,” and others seem to get stand off-ish while they watch to see how much change is going to come down the pipes. It seemed like, this time, most everyone had something negative to say. In all fairness though, there was NO hiring process. The commissioners board members had just announced that we had a new Fire Chief. Needless to say, there were some concerns and unanswered questions.
I have a tendency to be straightforward and honest. Most guys don’t like women like that but hey, I am who I am. At least you don’t have to question what I am thinking. One always knows how I feel. So, we were at the dinner table, as we do every shift. We had finished up and were just having small talk. One of the guys chimed in and made several negative comments about the Fire Chief. I’m not one to sit and talk shit, especially about someone who outranks me. But then two or three more guys chimed in and it turned into an all out “bitch fest” over the things they didn’t like about who he was. I didn’t much like the guy either, but I know better than to be vocal about it! The Battalion Chief was at the head of the dinner table just listening, nodding his head, and even laughing at some of it. After a solid 20 minutes of this negative vibe and the Battalion Chief doing nothing to stop it, I had enough and decided to just push away from the table. I must have sighed on the way out, because one said “what’s wrong with you?” I tried… I REALLY tried to keep my mouth shut the whole time. Not only so I could never be blamed for any part of this, but I knew that I was once again, going to go against the grain. However, the opportunity was given to me, so I couldn’t help myself… I took it! I turned to the table and voiced that I though it was bullshit that we are sitting here speaking nothing but negativity about our BOSS, and that the very one who’s job is to lead us, to be a representative of the Chief, as well as the department, is allowing this to continue. I felt like the comments had gone too far and the right thing to do was to call it out and stop it. What was supposed to be a nice, normal shift dinner turned into a massive blow up on me. I was criticized for being outspoken, rude, and disrespectful. Everyone at the table against ME. Suddenly I became the jerk in all of this.
I spent the remainder of the shift and then the following tour ignored and outcast by the crew. A week later I get a call into the office. I sat there shocked, while being told I was being transferred to a different shift. No one could provide a reason other than, “oh they have an opening needing filled.” The hardest part for me was standing chest to chest with one of my closest comrades, while he berated me as a crew member. I had to take a long hard look at trust and who I gave that to in this brotherhood. This was something THEY were doing wrong, and I was trying to correct it. When I laid in bed that night, I had to ask myself the question I didn’t want to know the answer to… “Would these guys have my back… NO MATTER WHAT… especially in a fire?” When I knew I couldn’t confidently answer that question, my soul was settled in the forced change of shifts. Nothing but GREATNESS came out of that new shift!! It was the best thing that had happened for me. I came out with the greatest of friendships and brotherhood.
That day, I chose to push away from the table. I would do it again any day! It’s called INTEGRITY and I’m proud to say that it is a natural thing that runs through me. Never be afraid to speak up for what is right. Stand up for yourself, your crew, and your morals. Remember why you wanted this job in the first place. It is the best job in the world!